1. Know how to recognize when gaslighting is happening
Identifying the symptoms is crucial. Individuals persistently subjected to gaslighting demonstrate diminished self-esteem and emotional reliance on the abuser. They might be torn between a whirlwind of emotions, from confusion and anger to sheer frustration.
Gaslighting phrases such as "You're making things up," "That never happened," "You're being dramatic," and "You're blowing things out of proportion" are disturbingly common.
2. Take note of interactions
Gaslighting involves the manipulation of your thoughts, actions, and memories, making it crucial to question everything. Keep notes on conversations and interactions, empowering yourself with evidence to boost your confidence in your memory of specific conversations and events. Confronting the manipulator may feel daunting, but having evidence at your disposal can be a game-changer.
3. Stand firm in your truth
The person doing the gaslighting often wants to evade responsibility while gradually making you emotionally dependent on them. This causes tremendous psychological despair, destroying your self-esteem and memory. To counteract this, stand firm in your truth.
That means trusting yourself, your emotions, and what you know to be true. Own your perspective by asserting, "I know what I witnessed," or "Don't dictate my emotions; this is how I genuinely feel." By proclaiming your truth, you reclaim your power from the manipulator.
4. Be kind to yourself
Experiencing gaslighting can have a significant impact on both your mental and physical well-being. For instance, research on gaslighting in professional medical settings stated that nurses subjected to gaslighting by their employers reported experiencing adverse health effects and symptoms.
To eradicate the stress caused by gaslighting, it is crucial to prioritize self-care activities such as engaging in hobbies, acquiring new knowledge, and socializing with friends. Even taking a leisurely walk to remove yourself from the situation can serve as an act of self-care.
5. Be willing to leave the conversation
Gaslighters may devise various tactics to manipulate others, including deflecting and minimizing. In such instances, practicing self-validation and being mindful of circular and unjust conversations is crucial.
Grant yourself the freedom to exit a certain place or people when you detect signs of denial or minimization of your reality. Bear in mind that gaslighters aim to create doubt in your perception. Therefore, leaving the situation before it escalates allows you to understand events clearly.
6. Don't worry about trying to "outsmart" the gaslighter
To effectively counter a gaslighter, the key lies in disengagement. Despite presenting an overwhelming arsenal of evidence - be it videos, recordings, or more - a gaslighter will persist in deflection, minimization, or outright denial. Hence, preserving your perception by gracefully walking away is more valuable. Remember: self-preservation wins over futile effort.
7. Lean on your support network
Going through a veil of gaslighting can make it difficult to see the truth. However, establishing a support network comprising those who provide a grounded perspective on your capabilities can help combat self-doubt. Seeking guidance from a mental health professional can further assist in this pursuit.
Conclusion
The bottom line is that gaslighting isn't something you have to put up with. By identifying the signs, taking the necessary steps to work on them, and seeking help from friends and family, you can work for yourself again and regain control of your life.
Feel free to reach out for help if you think someone might be trying to manipulate or control you. It is vital to acknowledge that it's not your fault - and help is out there. With the right support and resources, you can find a way to stand up for yourself and reclaim your life.
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